On living with Diabetes

One evening earlier this year, I was sitting in my dorm room contemplating what my life would become in just a few short months. On the horizon were huge milestones in my life: Graduation, moving back home, marriage, new job. And that was all going to happen in May.
If there was one thing I was praying for more than anything else, it was discipline. That is what I wanted. I wanted discipline in my marriage, as an employee, and as an adult with bill and responsibilities. Little did I know that disciple would come in a form I would have never imagined. To bring you up to speed, I need to take you back to April. Over spring break I went with a media team from my school to Thailand for a media mission trip. It was a great experience that I will never forget. I also become sick on the trip. Toward the end of the trip I begin feeling pretty rough, and by the time we left, I barely felt like walking to board the plane.

You know you feel terrible when you barely remember a 15 hour flight. I did think much of it when I got back to school. I had a ton of work ahead of me before I could graduate. I even had to write my hermeneutics paper that week (which somehow I managed to get a B on…. only God’s grace. seriously). I just wrote off feeling bad on jet lag and getting sick in Thailand. The problem was that I never really felt better. My symptoms went away, but my body never really felt better. But, there was too much to do for me to worry about how I was feeling. So, I kept pushing forward even though I felt terrible inside. At one point I remember telling Kami something to the effect of, “I don’t know if I can finish this semester…. I know it is only 2 weeks from being over but I am worried I am not going to finish all my work before finals.” We finished school, graduated, moved home, got married, started working, and began our life together. I still did not feel better. That feeling I had the last few weeks did not change once school was over. I was still exhausted all the time. I honestly don’t remember a whole lot of what happened from May- August. I know I laid on the couch, drank water like a machine, and lost all drive for anything. I just figured that my body was adjusting to life outside of college and being married and living life with another person. I am sure it was frustrating for Kami; I was hardly any help for those first few months. It is hard to even remember specific days, they sort of just bleed together. I felt horrible, but I did not really have any idea how bad I felt. On August 8th, everything hit the fan. Kami and I had been talking the week before about what could be wrong with me. With the help of WebMD and her iPhone, she diagnosed me with type 1 diabetes. Which actually turned out to be correct. That Monday I decided to go to an urgent care clinic and tell them to run some tests to see what could be wrong with me. While we were at lunch, Kami texted my dad and told him what was going on. She ran over my symptoms with him, and he gave even more support to the idea that I might have diabetes. My dad is a type 1 diabetic, and has been for about 15 years. He is a great diabetic. I grew up watching him take care of himself, check in blood sugar, dose himself with shots (and more recently with his pump). He said I should come by the house before I went to a clinic so I could check my glucose. We left work, went to the house, and before dinner my glucose was 540. Normal is 80-100. There was no need to visit a clinic. It was time to go to the ER. I spent the next few days in the hospital as the tried to get my glucose under control. It was a roller coaster ride for sure. Finger pricks every hour on the hour. Shots every hour. 2 different IV’s. At one point, while I was on an insulin drip, I did not eat or drink anything for 26 hours. That was not fun…. It was pretty rough sitting in the ICU by myself without anything to eat or drink. Not a pleasant place to be. Thankfully that did not last forever, and I was moved to a regular room, and then was able to leave.

I found out in the hospital that my average glucose over the last three months was around 350. Average. I was shocked. But looking back now, it makes total sense. My body felt terrible, and there was a very clear explanation why. My pancreas shut down. I am not 100% sure getting sick in Thailand was the cause, but it fits with the timeline of events. (Type 1 diabetes is not caused by a sickness, but it is triggered by something. You have antibodies that sit dormant until something triggers them to basically kill your panceas. Getting sick in Thailand was probably the agent that caused the anitbodies to attack.) Flash forward to today. I feel great. My glucose is averaging around 100 right now, and I love my pump. It is honestly one of the greatest medical inventions in the last few years. I am also really learning what healthy disciple looks like. My prayer has been answered….not how I would have ever guessed, but God has funny way of working things out. I have a new outlook on discipline. There are serious long term effects that can be avoided by taking care of myself now. By investing in my life right now, I am investing in my future health. I am committed to taking care of myself so I can take care of my wife and family. I am committed to taking care of myself so I can live the life God has for me. I want to be a good steward of what I have been given.

What can four years do? :A review of my time in college.

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It is hard to even consider in one sitting what the last four years have been. It is a whirlwind of feelings, and so many experiences. It has been years full of ups and downs, joy and sadness, learning and un-learning (which is equally important in my opinion). I have learned who I am, who I am not, and who I want to be. College is about an education in the classroom, but it is just as much about an education in life. 

 

I can remember my first day of college at NGU like it was last semester. We left home before 6am with our cars packed and headed to South Carolina. It was so hot that day, well over 100 degrees. Moving in felt like I was going to summer camp, not college. It was kind of a surreal moment realizing that I would be here for the next four years. The first day of class was an odd experience because the only person I really knew at school was Kami (and we did not have any classes together). This was difficult for the extravert in me, who was used to  having conversations with everyone that I meet; I was not in high school anymore. Freshman year was full of firsts, mostly positive. It was a great feeling to start looking at my life as I wanted it to be. No one here knew me since I was a baby; I did not grow up with these people. It was a chance to determine what I wanted to be, and chase after that. 

 

Sophomore and Junior year kind of bleed together. So much happened during that time, and I was in college life mode. It was no longer a new thing; it was my home. I was active in so many different organizations, bands, and churches it was hard to keep up with myself. I can remember band practices in the Student Center till 1am almost every week. After practice I would come back and do Greek homework. At one point I was playing guitar and leading worship four times a week. I look back now and wonder how I did all that stuff for so long and still managed to do my homework. I guess that schedule just became normal. Kami and I began to grow really close during this time. Our relationship and love for each other continued to grow. She was (and still is) my best friend. I could not imagine life in college, or any part of my life without her. We worked through some serious issues with personal stuff, family stuff, and faith questions. I remember staying up late talking for hours about anything you can think of. This is when I started really growing up, or at least deciding who I was for myself. Life was something I needed to decide for myself, not just continue in the path that I assumed was laid out for me. My passions for the future began to be formed, and they were nothing like I thought they would be. College was a time of growth and exploration into the future. 

 

Which led me to my Senior year. This year has been the year of decisions. I had to freedom to dream for the last 3 years, but now it was time for some decisions to be made about my life, career, and the future. The first semester was about connecting, learning about different opportunities, and exploring with Kami what life would be like in different places. We thought for sure we would stay in Greenville. Then, I became serious for a while about moving to Seattle, Washington for graduate work at Mars Hill Graduate school. Then one day, I told her that I though God wanted us to move back to Tennessee, where we grew up, and start our lives there. I figured she would laugh, because that is usually what we did when we talked about moving back home. Instead, she responded that she was thinking the exact same thing. There was such a peace about moving back home, even though we had no idea why. We did not have jobs there, and all the connections we had made the last 3 years were in the upstate. We just trusted that God would tell us in the right time.

After Christmas break, I felt pretty certain I had a job with one of the two churches I had been talking with. I was just sure that one of them would offer me a job anytime. Neither did. I did not know what to do. Why would God put the desire in our hearts to come home and then not provide any answer to what we would be doing here? I was rather depressed. There was increasing pressure each week from people around us to know where we would be working, and the fact that I was about to leave for Thailand in a few weeks for 10 days did not help either. My mind was restless.

One night we were driving back to school and Kami asked me a simple, but profound question. She said, “what do you want to do? What would you love to do?” For the last few years I had assumed that I would always work at a church, but that was not panning out. I thought for a few minutes. My secret desire was to be a designer and photo editor for a photographer. I did not want to own my own photography business; I really wanted to work for someone doing design work. As soon as I said those words out loud, I immediately added “but, there is no way that job exists in this area.” That night I told God that I was game for anything, and that if He opened a door I would go for it. That same week I saw I twitter update from Tina Wilson, a photographer in Johnson City. She said she was looking to hire someone in the near future. I had seen her work before and was impressed with her creativity and artistry. I sent her my resume, not thinking anything serious would come from it. I mainly sent it so I could do something proactive with my job search. To my great surprise, she responded back and want to meet me. I went in for an interview and fell in love with the job. Earlier that week I wrote out my dream work schedule for my dream job. I basically wrote down this job description without knowing it. The more Tina talked, the more sure this was where I was supposed to be. A week later she offered me the job of lead designer/editor. God is good. 

Flash foreword a few more weeks. Kami is also going to be working with Tina Wilson Photography, and we start next week. A wonderful friend of our also offered us a garage apartment that we could rent from them while they tried to sell their house. (that story alone would take ten minutes to tell…..but God provided in an amazing way). We finished school this week, graduate tomorrow, move home, start work, and the get married on May 20.

 

If you asked me when I was a freshman what I would be doing when I graduated, I promise I would never have guessed this. I look back on college with thankfulness and humility for how God has shaped us. Kami and I are happier than we have ever been before, and we trust God for the impossible because He has already given us so much that we literally did nothing for. I am ready to close this chapter and open a new one where I work with my wife at our dream job in a community that we love.

 

 

 What can four years do? Four years can change your entire life. 

A few more pics from Thailand

Thailand- day 10

Today was our last real day in Thailand. We awoke to a great breakfast and bible study at the guest house. After bible study, we left to go to a church service called The Gathering. It is a worship service that many international missionaries and families attend that was held in a huge mall in Chiang Mai. It was cool to meet people people from all over the world serving in Southeast Asia. I even talked to someone who went to a small bible college about 20 minutes from North Greenville. Small world.

 

Before the service, some of us got stuck in elevator at the mall! I was in the first group to get on the elevator. We were headed to the 5th floor, but the elevator decided to get stuck on the way up. It was a tiny elevator and there were 8 or 9 people in there. Luckily one of the missionaries was there with us and had a phone that worked. She called her husband and told him we were stuck. I think we were in there about 20 minutes, but it felt like an hour. After a few minutes it started getting really hot, and I was getting a little nervous. Nothing like being stuck on an elevator to start your last day in Thailand…..

Someone finally came and opened the door at the next level and we were able to step up and out of the elevator. We took the stairs the rest of the way. No need for a repeat of that experience. 

After the service, we spent time in the mall eating and shopping. I was able to finishing buying gifts for my family and friends. Handmade goods are so cheap in Thailand. I was able to get Thai silk bags and other items for just a few dollars. I have never been anywhere that sold such good quality stuff for so cheap. I used as much Baht (thai currency) as I could since my money went so much farther here than it does back home. 

 

We went back to the guest house in the afternoon to pack up and get everything ready to head to America. I did not feel so good in the afternoon or evening. I was a little feverish and my stomach was killing me. If you see any picture of me in the Chiang Mai airport on FaceBook, I look like a red-faced zombie. I felt gross. I was able to take some sleeping pills on the plane, and I slept the whole flight to Seoul. I also slept most of the way back to Atlanta. 

 

It was sad to leave Thailand, but I was also ready to get home. I missed Kami so much! Everything in my life is about to change, so I was ready to get home and get things ready for graduation, my job, and marriage. I will always remember Thailand, and I hope one day soon I will be able to share my experience in more detail.

 

- If you see me around, feel free to ask any questions you want. I love sharing about my experience and would love to talk about it. 

Thailand- day 9

Today was a fun day! We were able to all go as a group and spend the day relaxing and enjoying some incredible stuff in Thailand. 

 

First stop was a Elephant habitat. There were tons of elephants that live here, and they were incredible. When we arrived there were people selling bananas and sugar cane that you could feed the elephants. As soon as people walked up with the food, the elephants lit up with excitement. You could just walk up and they would grab the banana or sugar cane from your hand. One of the guys in the group even fed them with a banana in his mouth. One neat trick they did was to take the hat off their trainer (who was sitting on top of them) and put it on your head with it’s trunk. He would pat you on the head and then use his trunk to take it off you and give it back to the trainer. Those elephants were rather smart. We got to watch them play soccer, paint with a paintbrush and canvas, and play the harmonica. 

 

Then we got to ride the elephants. They had a seat for two attached to the top of the elephant, and we got on and the elephant took us for a 30-minute ride. It was weird riding such a huge animal (and was also rather wobbly…). The elephants were very agile considering how large they were. We walked over hills, through water, and down stairs. It was an experience I will not soon forget. 

 

In the afternoon we went to a zip-line course in the jungle. A van came and picked us up and took us on a crazy one-lane road in the jungle. It was a long drive, and I would guess that most cars in America could not make it to the top. Once we were there, we signed all the papers and were fitted with our harnesses and helmets. There were 20 different zip-lines we were able to ride. It was like a ride in the middle of a jungle. All of the zip-lines were attached to huge trees, and you just soared over the ground and jungle on a wire. I have been on zip-lines before, but this was by far the most amazing. It look three hours to finish the course, and most of the lines were about 140 meters. It was such a rush, but I was so tired by the end of it. The people there also cooked us a Thai meal (which was amazing) and then took us all the way back to the guest house. I am pretty sure everyone slept the whole way back to the house.

 

 

It was great to experience some different things in Thailand, especially things you could never do in America. It is so beautiful over here. It is like a city in the middle of a forest. 

Thailand- day 8

Today was a finishing day. We spent the morning at the office getting footage captured, images backed up, and making sure we had everything we would need when we got back to America. 

We were also able to interview a few more people that have been crucial to the ministry center here in Chiang Mai. 

 

Before I left for the trip, one of my friends told me she had a friend who lived in Chiang Mai that came to Texas to work at a camp in the summers. I was doubtful that I could find one person out of a million people…but it turns out that I met him the second day we were there! His name is Ekk, and he is one of the few male Thai believers his age that comes to Ban Kanoon. He spent most of the week with us and he is such a great guy. It was insane to meet someone halfway around the world that knows people that go to North Greenville. We were able to capture Ekk’s testimony today; I can’t wait to watch the tapes and hear more of his story. 

(if you look at my last post, you can see a picture of Ekk at a market we visited one evening. I think it is the second picture in the set)

 

This evening we were able to debrief with the other teams that were out doing other projects. We were able to share some pictures and videos with each other and share brief stories about what God had done that week. It was an amazing experience to sit and hear classmates share incredible God-stories from this one week. It felt like I had not seen some of those people in a month…but it had really only been a few days. So much happened this week; it is going to take a while for some of this to really sink in to point where I can even put it to words.

 Thailand is an incredible place, and I am so thankful I here. I know that I will leave here changed by the people and experiences I have had. God is so good, and he is so much bigger than we imagine. 

Thailand pics

Thailand- day 7

Last night we went out for sushi. I love sushi, and this place had some really great stuff. Almost all the restaurants here are open air shops, which gives them a cool feel. The food was great and I ate a bunch of sushi. 

After sushi we all went and had a Thai massage. It was an hour long massage and it was amazing. It felt like they ripped my spine out and gave me a new one…in a good way. My body felt like jello after it was finished. 

We went downtown to a night Bazaar after massages. It was kind of like walking around Gatlinburg, TN. There were tons of knock-off American products from Nike, Puma, and North Face. All the other markets were went to were very Thai, but this one was very American oriented. I did get a cool wooden chess set for 1,000 baht (which is about 30 bucks…..it would have cost at least 80 in the states). 

Here are a few pics I have edited from the last few days. 

thanks for all the comments and prayers. It has been such a great experience, and I can't wait to share these stories in more detail soon. 

See the full gallery on Posterous

Thailand- day 6

Today we went to one of the largest temples in Chiang Mai. It was literall on top of a mountain….and we had to walk up a couple hundred steps to get there. 

It was almost like a theme park. They were selling shirts, food, and all kinds of temple merchandise. It was such an ornate structure filled with all kinds of idols, gold statues, and candles burning incense. Behind all the gold there was a darkness there. We saw hundreds of people walk up the mountain to walk around a statue, burn incense, and offer merit to the monks. There is such a heaviness and darkness here that has a hold of these people. They work so hard, but have so little hope. Their lives are centered around karma and merit, but they are so scared. 

 

This afternoon we took some time to interview some of the Thai Christians and missionaries about what God is doing in their life and how Ban Kanoon (the ministry center here) is having an impact on the community. It was so great to hear stories of God extending his goodness and grace to these people in Thailand. I have been so inspired by these people; they have made such a large impact on my life in these few short days. I have seen such honest and beautiful community.

 

I am tired of watching the church in America fight over silly things. Being over here has given me perspective on what really matters. The Christians here actually love their community and put others before themselves. We could learn so much from their simple faith. 

 

 

I am having a great time here in Thailand. One of the coolest things we do is ride their taxi services around the city. It is a truck with bench seats in the back, and they will take you somewhere for less than a dollar. They even let you stand on the back of the truck and hold on to the ladders; it was so fun to ride around the city at night on the back of the taxi. 

Thailand- day 5

It was interesting waking up in the village. I have never heard so many roosters before in my life. You could not sleep in with all the roosters outside. Our sweet housekeeper made us sticky rice for breakfast. Sticky rice is becoming a daily tradition…. I am going to miss it in the states. 

Today we went back to Dream’s house. I was able to share with Dreams brother and his friend Jon. We talked for at least 40 minutes. It was great to share my story with them and hear about their life. I was able to share about my faith and what God has done in my life. It was a great time, and really stretched me trying to explain my faith to people who did not know anything about Jesus. I was able to share my faith, and answer some questions they had. Jon asked a handful of questions and was very interested in what I was saying. I tried to explain to him that God is a God of light and truth, and that He wants to be found. I was able to share that faith and doubt can exist together, and that I can trust God even when I don’t know all the answers. That idea was very exciting to Jon; he shared about the the darkness he felt in the village and around the temple. I encouraged him to keep asking questions and to ask God to reveal Himself. We prayed together and he seemed very hopeful. Keep praying for Jon; I hope he gives his life to Christ soon. 

 

We also went to another village tonight where some of the Thai Christians lead a bible study. These students are on fire for Christ and love the gospel more than any group I have ever met. We could learn so much from them about faith, community, and unity. They do not fight or argue over silly things, and they have a genuine love for each other. It is inspiring to see students reaching their world for Christ. I cannot even understand how difficut it must be to be a Christian in an area that is 99% Buddhist. That takes some serious faith. 

 

Keep praying for out team as try to capture the story of Northern Thailand. I can’t wait to share more details about the trip when I have more free time to write and edit photos.